“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist” – Oscar Wilde
All over the world, we keep hearing many success stories on how a product has been redesigned for a current context – from the traditional vintage car of the early 19th century to the Tesla or the wired telephone to mobile or the traditional to modern day healthcare options.
However, until recently not much has been spoken about, even though work has always being carried out, in common forums on how to make our life relevant to current context (read hyper-connected modern wired era). I would ‘subtly’ refer to this as Redesigning Your Life!
In spiritual realm, plenty has been said and advised for centuries now on how to journey in your life and depending on one’s belief this can vary from duty-bound to selfless to society focused life. And I am deliberately keeping away from going deep into the topic of living an ascetic life, as that will lead to deeper discussion.
My journey of Design Thinking and its application to various aspects in life led to an ‘Aha’ moment, when I was convinced that redesigning your life is not as difficult as it was portrayed to be!
“I am not worried about people who died as much as I am worried of people who don’t live at all’ – Dan Millman
Do not mistake redesigning your life with career guidance or advancement as that is a very minuscule part of what is in store in life. And if you are someone like me marching towards the so called ‘retirement’ life in a few years you will soon realize, if not already, that ‘identity’ drives conflicts inside your head and suddenly you will try to hang on to whatever will give you that comfort – ‘I am important’.
Here, I am referring to the purpose driven, happy and long life that can be a journey one can turn to at any point in time in their life – from teenage group to post retirement.
A few key points that can be reflected upon to change the course of your journey:
“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for” – Oprah Winfrey
Management books call them the ‘comfort zone’ and I would like to refer them as your ‘chosen reality’, since this state is something you have chosen (minus what life situation beyond your control had to influence). This reality would include your mental/physical health, relationship, financial security, career stability etc. The status of these elements was influenced by a decision you had made or avoided in the past, which has now become part of your reality. A bit (don’t get into a deep dive reflection that can trap you into resentment) of postmortem will help in identifying a pattern of decisions. Observing patterns of your decision and behavior that has influenced your current life will go a long way in helping with the journey of redesigning your life.
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of Life is to give it away” – Pablo Picasso
Writing your own epitaph! Personally this helped me change my course, ever since I found mine several years ago (“Here lies a person who loved to care for others!”) as part of personal transformation journey. Looking at an epitaph may not be acceptable in certain culture or belief system, in which case arriving at a ‘purpose’ is almost a similar step. In essence, one needs to arrive at anything that is close to their heart and something that resonates with who they are which will give meaning to their life.
“Life is not what you alone make it. Life is an input of everyone who touched your life and every experience that entered it. We are all part of one another.” – Yuri Kochiyama
Our life is touched by many people and there are occasions it would have resulted in a significantly positive influence. It helps to identify these co-travelers in your life journey, your current relationship with them (if they are still part of your journey) and how they have influenced your chosen reality. One can choose to go little further in rating these ‘Influencer’ in a scale that is comfortable. Even more impacting is to reflect on why you would have attracted these co-travelers into your life. Reasons may be plenty including your own decisions, societal pressure (in some cases), workplace scenario or simply karma, for those who believe in it.
“The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
In my journey as a Coach, I have encountered situations with people and their reactions when they are confronted with reality in their lives. Often times you see people go into a defensive mode (or take things personally) and become busy trying to clean the mirror to see a clear face while they know very well that the dust they are trying to ‘clear’ is not in the mirror! This is an ‘Ego Trap’ that one gets into and sooner they work hard to get out of it, earlier they reduce the risk of running into a Dysfunctional life. Do a sanity check on your ‘patterns’ and how it stacks up to your Epitaph and co-travelers list. This will help you (if you put in enough time and effort) to identify the ‘blind spots’ in your behavior which has been an energy drainer or negative influence in your journey. Imagine for a minute, what if you had all that lost energy to work towards your purpose instead!
“Yesterday is but today’s memory, and tomorrow is today’s dream” – Khalil Gibran
A purpose driven life has proven to be happy and long lasting as referenced by the Japanese IKIGAI – translates roughly as “the happiness of always being busy”. Several happiness researches across the world have concluded that the primary factor defining happiness in people is not money! And in some research it shows that a purpose driven life results in increased happiness. The step you take towards Redesigning Your Life can help you live a long lasting and happy life, provided you motivate yourself to go over the hump as in case of any change. During this new journey, you should constantly look for the positive patterns to carry you through and an eye on your purpose (read epitaph) acts as a catalyst.
I have shared here few thoughts from my experience – as a coach and a design thinking practitioner – from helping people, ranging from young adults to professionals with midlife crisis, redesign their life. Would be great to hear your feedback or experience.